Day of (11/5/22)

Until I say all of these were written days later when I was in the ward so it's me trying to recall the events not actually at the time or even day they refer to.

Saturday 11/5/22 11.30 am

We agreed I'd get picked up at 11 but I guess they were running late. I don't remember the time I woke up. I don't remember if it was today or last night. Adam convinced me to shower before. I told him, "They'll get to see me in all my dirty chipmunky glory." (He says I smell like chipmunk when I haven't showered in days so then I'll know I have to)

11/26/24

I still have the journal I just didn't have time to finish mental illness is AWESOME. 

Nobody Reads This:I thought it was listed 18+ already

 Honestly I kind of panicked that this blog was going to be deleted.

I got a weird banner that they gave a block in the beginning, I thought I already labeled it 18+. Nobody reads this though. I lose all of my journals. I don't know that I can describe how I've lived.

Nobody reads this.

I had a REALLY bad time a few days ago. I hate when people ask if I've taken my meds when my meds made me twitch like crazy to the point that my eyes were twitching and I was scared it'd0 be permanent I won't mention the meds or whatever.

I'm sorry if I didn't have the proper warnings on it. I really never thought anyone would see it and I don't advertise it. I'm not trying to be a creep. I just lose all my journals. Most of my things have been in a storage unit for like unfortunately 12 years. Forgive me for using an unknown blog for the only journal I have to remember anything.

Again no one will read this.

I forgot why I'm here again. Oh yes. I'm worried about actually bad health issues. I throw up a lot. Like A LOT. The heartburn meds I've been taking since 19 say after 2 weeks I should talk to a do0ctor. Yeah I wasn't going to get a HUGE bill for my tummy troubles. 

I'm worried about my heart. It beats SO hard sometimes. My feet veins swelled so hard one day it looked like they were going to explode but my arms were freezing.

I can't regulate temperature. I'm rarely an ok temp. I sweat profusely in some areas and others I'm freezing, I assume it's just winter.

Ever since I worked at my factory job when I was 20-23? my pinky and ring finger sometimes go numb up to my neck. The thing is it still happens now and then.

My muscles cramp like A LOT. Is the scoliosis way worse? 

I'm in way more pain. 

I'm trying to get a job for insurance.

Don't even ASK about my teeth that's a whole new shit show.

I have way too much to whine about so I'll be here again maybe.

Thanks Nobody I love you.