I'm not bitter

 I thought I was being a selfish piece of shit for wanting to kill myself once again. Reading my old posts just reminds me of how alone I am and how much no one else gives a fuck about how I feel.

So many words about wanting to make sure others are happy and why I'm so selfish...

I'm so fucking alone right now.

At least I'm a little bit free.

No one fucking asks me how I am. 

I don't even feel selfish at this point. I have given all I can.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I never have.

No one will fucking see this. 

I don't fucking matter beyond some shallow fucking bullshit

I'm going to move all my shit into my storage unit....

I'm just fucking done. 

I know I drink too much

I know I don't cuddle 

I know I don't have sex

I know I have depression

I know I literally have no fucking value

You don't have to remind me how worthless I am

I spend as much time as I can working and I get depressed and can't do anything else.

I can't live by myself

I'm almost 30 I'm broken as shit.

I've got what like 20 years of struggle??

not interested. 

I'm done. 

not a suicide note btw

Not that anyone reads this shit xD

Don't worry

I might be actually done.

I've tried. I've tried so hard for so long but it's been hard to fight for so fucking long.

I shouldn't be here.

Existence hurts.

I've been working on it for years.

The silly thing is a part of me still wishes....

everyone comes for me for their suicidal thoughts

and I help them I talk to them I tell them how wonderful they are

how much I love them and how the world would be worse without them.

I'm not doing it now.

Obvs.

I had a FAIRLY SOLID plan before. But realizing there's much more.

No one reads this.

I've literally been yelling to the abyss for a decade. 

It's kind of hilarious. 

Again nothing is happening if any little weirdo shows up

Doubtful since I'm pretty sure I put my previous plans here.