Day 24 Update

   I haven't been that happy lately. I think it's the season :/. We're having a party friday in the woods. I guess I'm kind of excited. I'm just... IDK not myself right now. I wonder if I need to get back on anti-depressants. Or maybe if I could just get a damn job... And my phone's turned off so I'm hoping that I don't miss a call back. That's the story of my life though lawl. 

   This is pointless. I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I guess it kind of helps. It stops the same thoughts from repeating in my head.

   We got another cat kind of but we have to get rid of it tomorrow because we can't keep it... I really need to go to bed. But I feel like I'm too depressed to sleep if that's even possible. I guess it could be that Adam slept a full 12 hours cause he's a freak... Well, bye.

Day 23 Pros & Cons

Things I suck at:

1) When I touch things they have the tendency to randomly fall off for example: Car decals, knobs etc.

2) Walking, I'm a klutz and I trip a lot

3) Technical things, I fuck up computers and shit

4) Shooting games like Call of Duty

5) Sports, again I'm a klutz

6) Taking care of plants

7) Remembering things

8) Cooking bacon :3

9) Blogging every day :P

10) Putting away laundry, dishes, etc.

Things I'm good at:

1) Singing (I've been told)

2) Drawing (I've been told)

3) Being polite to strangers

4) Cooking and Baking

5) Saving money :D

6) Party Rocking

7) Writing (I've been told)

8) Making people fall in love with my awkwardness??

Basically I've had many guys after me and I honestly have no idea why :/

9) Borderlands (I like to think)

10) Dressing weird

Applied to Target tonight whoooo! =.=

k night :3

Day 22 Gaming

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Day 21 Confessions

Confessions:

1) I used to be a cutter. It started in the eighth grade aaand I went to the psych ward three times for depression and spent four months in treatment. I don't know any of you so it doesn't matter what you know rofl

2) In the ninth grade I was expelled for having pills in my locker and spent the rest of my ninth grade year in our town's ALC but got back into the high school for my sophomore year. However I had many issues and was in and out of our town's high school in between online school alternative schools and treatment. I never spent a whole year in my towns high school.

3) I'm not fond of babies. They make me nervous I like the idea of eventually having the child of me and the love of my life growing inside me I just don't know what I'd do when it is born 0.o

I pray to God I get that "I just knew what to do" mothering instinct because I'm too nervous to even be around a baby and I have NO authority. When they grew older I don't know that I could demand they go for a time-out I'd probably ask please =.=

4) I love veggies. Not a big fan of raw veggies and I hate okra and I only really like them if they're steamed. Oh and I don't like ranch.

5) I tried to be vegetarian once but I had this habit of stealing my friends' food at lunch in high school and one day I stole a piece of popcorn chicken... Yeah that lasted long...

6) I have difficulty crying. However I tear up when I get really pissed off... And tears mixed with raging is an odd combination. I think it's because I feel so bad that I'm so angry that I'm raging... I'm a wimp :/

7) I'm shy... Like really shy

8) I tend to sing or hum whenever there's silence where I am. Like if you put me on call-waiting don't be surprised if I'm humming when you flip back to my call or I do it whenever I'm doing something mundane. Doing chores for me has always been easier when I'm singing or humming.

9) I've been caught singing by strangers who compliment me on it... In the woods by the river... on the patio in my parents back yard... at the park when I thought no one else was around

10) I used to shop-lift. I then was caught after many years of doing it. I got in trouble and being as I was over 18 by that time I realized how stupid it was. However I wasn't caught stealing anything stupid like a T.V. or lip gloss.

11) I'm a typical woman, I love cats. But other women hate me because I hate all the other typical woman stuff. I wouldn't say I'm a tom-boy but I'm not as um- feminine and sensitive as other women. 

I'm going to leave it there because 11 is a nice awkward number :3

Day 20 (I will finish what I started)

   Hey the people who don't read this. I figured I'd keep writing this just for my own entertainment. So bear with me...

   Things that make me become unattracted to you (I know I'm asexual but these are things that made me NOT want to even be around someone):

  1) "Joking" or talking about sex all the time. It's annoying and makes you look like a douche or a whore. Yeah a "that's what she said" joke can be fun but not three times a day...

  2) Whining. Especially whining about how girls don't like you... Telling me how much of a loser you think you are doesn't make me want to date you it makes me tired of being around your bitching... There was a guy I thought was pretty cool until that's all he did when we hung out.

  3) Sudden over-attachment, you know what that is. The person you've known for three days who has already labeled you their best friend and/or the too-fast "I love you" followed by marriage plans and "I'd kill myself without you"

  4) Telling me I'm awesome all the time. Yeah it's nice but gushing over every pic I post everything I say or do... It gets creepy and awkward. I know that seems weird or bitchy but honestly I'm shy and awkward it makes me uncomfortable.

  5) The butterflies: whether it's the person who has a new group friends each week or a new significant other every month. Either way it drives me insane. Making relationships so trivial and meaningless.

Well I've got nothing else for now kbai :3

Day it's been awhile (19)

Yeah I've been busy doing nothing and not posting new blogs. Yeah I know I'm a terrible person but... 

There's something to keep you entertained? Pictures are always better then words...

Things I wished I had:
1. A Job
2. A Driver's license
That's pretty much it right now I'm easily appeased :P